It is quite unlike me to update this blog on a weekday. Don't ask me why I am doing it. Maybe it's that nagging little urge which I have come to call as the blogger's itch. Eh, don't get wrong ideas, all I was referring to was the want or rather the need to express.
I had set out last Sunday to write one, but as "circumstances" would have it, it never saw the light of the day. Those circumstances include me trying to figure out good proxies to use for Orkut, Twitter, Facebook and any other social networking site which guarantees some good entertainment by sneaking a peek into the artificial online lives of friends and acquaintances alike. My fruits of labour(oh, what heavy words) were mixed in their sweetness. I did figure out everything, with a little help of course, but as a result lost the draft I was composing to upload. So there, that's the excuse I came up with.
Coming to the reason why I was so desperate to find proxies - I was working last Sunday. OK, I lied a little bit, I was in office on Sunday. I barely have work on weekdays and you expect me to actually put in efforts on a Sunday? Ha!
I don't know how many of you have gone through it, but it's the worst feeling in the world! The campus was deserted, and this, in a place which is teeming with people on a regular day! Where you would expect to see at least a bunch of people, you see emptiness. From the parking lot to the food court, nothing! Will Smith from I am Legend and that weird guy from 28 days Later, I empathise with you. At least they had zombies to have fun with, I had just the hum of my computer.
The day was doomed from the start itself. I step out of my bus and land into the empty depot of my company and *snap* goes my footwear. Wardrobe malfunctions of other kinds may be glamorous but when you are in the middle of a big empty space and are just about to cover a whole lot distance more, with no cobbler for miles around, you know you are in trouble. Just to set the record straight, I am not one of those girls(women?) who wear slippers that look like they are made from hay and have heels that can put the daintiest of ladders to shame. I go for sturdiness, I go for comfort(if only men came with such specifications..ahem..never mind!).
Dragging one foot and marching with the other, I walked on. In front of me was the monster that there was no chance I could overcome in my present state - the skyway. Imagine 50 stairs up, 10 feet walk and 50 steps down. Now imagine covering this distance with the disadvantage of having only one functional shoe. Not a pretty sight, not a pretty sight at all!
While I stood at the bottom of the staircase, the security guard left his place and came to me, wondering what the lonely soul was upto. I didn't see him grab his gun or walkie-talkie, so I assume he deemed me harmless enough. One look and he knew what he was dealing with. Being a local citizen and of course, a girl, I didn't have to do much to win his sympathy. A pro that he was, he shot off directions to me and protected my footwear while I went to get the equipment.
Not following what I said? Well, I left my footwear under his care, went barefoot to the local shop(second from the right, according to Mr. Knowledgeable), purchased super glue and safety pins( just in case) and returned to fix it. If I wasn't already impressed and humbled by his gesture and common sense, he went on to guess where I was from i.e. my native place. Oh well, I guess my accent and use of words gave it away, but still, you have got to give the guy some credit!
So captain presence of mind saved the day and cinderella went in search of her prince charming to the dark, lonely castle. They lived happily ever after? Come on, let's be real, shall we? Ate too much of blogspace(and perhaps your brain) already, so let's just close this chapter here. The End.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
My Principles
I have set out to explain in this blog, more to myself than others, the reasons behind why I am the way I am(no need to call those lawyers Eminem, I am not sabotaging your song).
I am a girl in my quarterly-twenties(?) who has lots of friends, who loves to have a good time(hold on, this isn't the "about me" section) and yet who stays clear of alcoholic drinks and cigarettes. It is a well known fact among my friends, and for which sometimes I am teased, that smoking is the biggest turn off to me. I would rather go out with a person who picks his nose in public than someone who smokes! The smell makes me sick and the sight of someone smoking, even more so.
I have lost count of the number of times new acquaintances and old friends have expressed surprised that I don't drink. That may be attributed to two facts - a.) I act high and stupid even in the absence of alcohol and b.) I don't come across as the "type" who wouldn't drink. My abstention from drinking originated from a personal reason but you know how it works, people change, opinions change, principles get altered, if not abandoned. Yet, I have stuck to mine. Strange but true.
Next on the list is my inability, actually my reluctance, to lie. Sure, I can whip up amazing excuses in nanoseconds and deliver them with a poker straight face. But the guilt that accompanies it feels like the devil wrenching my heart out. A case in example, and which used to occur ever so frequently, were the reasons I used to give after an unplanned leave, to my manager.
I have been labeled loud mouth and many other adjectives that seem more colourful in the local languages. I would rather not speak than lie. Maybe that's the reason why people who don't know me too well, label me as the silent, docile kind of person. It amuses me no end! I don't believe in diplomacy, in my opinion it is something only diplomats should practice. This has never landed me in trouble because I also happen to be a practical person. I may have my values/principles, if that's what you can call them, but I am not foolish(conditions apply).
All of this has got nothing to do with my family or my upbringing. We aren't a bunch of Gandhians who wouldn't wear anything other than khadi or not touch any foreign products. The only reason I can think of is the one belief that, well, even I can't explain. Atheism. Don't ask me why or don't ask me how. All I know is that I have been a non believer for a very long time, with no recollection of when it happened. Ok, too dramatic.
But according to me, that's the one piece of thread that holds all the other beads together. You have a God you believe in, one you know will protect you. To me, it's all me. I am answerable only to me. If or when something goes wrong, I have no one to blame, no one to pray to. No one is responsible for the consequences of my actions, but me. That puts me in a position of power, with respect to my life, but that also puts me in a position of responsibility.
Simply put, my non-belief is the reason behind my beliefs.
I am a girl in my quarterly-twenties(?) who has lots of friends, who loves to have a good time(hold on, this isn't the "about me" section) and yet who stays clear of alcoholic drinks and cigarettes. It is a well known fact among my friends, and for which sometimes I am teased, that smoking is the biggest turn off to me. I would rather go out with a person who picks his nose in public than someone who smokes! The smell makes me sick and the sight of someone smoking, even more so.
I have lost count of the number of times new acquaintances and old friends have expressed surprised that I don't drink. That may be attributed to two facts - a.) I act high and stupid even in the absence of alcohol and b.) I don't come across as the "type" who wouldn't drink. My abstention from drinking originated from a personal reason but you know how it works, people change, opinions change, principles get altered, if not abandoned. Yet, I have stuck to mine. Strange but true.
Next on the list is my inability, actually my reluctance, to lie. Sure, I can whip up amazing excuses in nanoseconds and deliver them with a poker straight face. But the guilt that accompanies it feels like the devil wrenching my heart out. A case in example, and which used to occur ever so frequently, were the reasons I used to give after an unplanned leave, to my manager.
I have been labeled loud mouth and many other adjectives that seem more colourful in the local languages. I would rather not speak than lie. Maybe that's the reason why people who don't know me too well, label me as the silent, docile kind of person. It amuses me no end! I don't believe in diplomacy, in my opinion it is something only diplomats should practice. This has never landed me in trouble because I also happen to be a practical person. I may have my values/principles, if that's what you can call them, but I am not foolish(conditions apply).
All of this has got nothing to do with my family or my upbringing. We aren't a bunch of Gandhians who wouldn't wear anything other than khadi or not touch any foreign products. The only reason I can think of is the one belief that, well, even I can't explain. Atheism. Don't ask me why or don't ask me how. All I know is that I have been a non believer for a very long time, with no recollection of when it happened. Ok, too dramatic.
But according to me, that's the one piece of thread that holds all the other beads together. You have a God you believe in, one you know will protect you. To me, it's all me. I am answerable only to me. If or when something goes wrong, I have no one to blame, no one to pray to. No one is responsible for the consequences of my actions, but me. That puts me in a position of power, with respect to my life, but that also puts me in a position of responsibility.
Simply put, my non-belief is the reason behind my beliefs.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Average Jane
This was a thought planted in my mind by a friend, in one of our numerous lunch discussions, about nothing. He claims that he is the most average guy you can find. Well there's news for you my friend, I make the "A" in average seem extraordinary! Here's why
- Looks: Let's start with the most basic, shallow means used to judge another person. What? Don't give me the holier than thou "I don't judge people and neither should you" look! All of us are judgmental, you know it. I come in the not so attractive that men swoon when I pass by and yet not so ugly that kids start wailing in my presence by the mere sight of me category. Not gorgeous yet not hideous. Let's see, so what would that make me? Oh yes, average!
- Academics: It may be too late to talk about academics now but bear with me, I am trying to make a point. Agreed that as a kid I used to do well in studies, but that doesn't count right? I mean how difficult is it to score well in the lower grades? I feel bad for those parents, students who don't! Don't give me the Ishan Awasthi syndrome as an excuse, dyslexia isn't an epidemic. So barring that initial spark of excellence, I have remained an average student throughout my academic life. Never too brilliant, never too dumb to fail.
- Athletics: Been there, done that, that's about it. I enthusiastically took part in each and every sport offered by my school, from plain old sprinting to kho kho to softball(baseball bat, soft ball, the works). There was a time when I was one of the fastest in running but that again was thanks to luck and timing - I was one of the tallest girls in my age category. Hard to believe but true. More of that later. So in sports and/or athletics - average.
- Height and weight: I may have ranted about being short and how the cruel world does not understand or sympathise with my woes or me before, but if truth be told, I am of the average Indian female height. No, honestly. Females, ok this term seems derogatory to a few, so let me use women, who are a couple or more inches taller than me are referred to as being tall and those on the lower side of the scale as short(duhh). That leaves me as, you guessed it, average!
Coming to an issue most women are sensitive about, my weight. No, I am not revealing how much it is. Just that if and when you or anyone else for that matter looks at me for the first time and later is asked for an opinion regarding my build, the common response is "medium". Not "big", not "fat", not "skinny", not "thin" and most definitely not as a part of sign language using both hands, but "normal". It maybe a politically incorrect way of classifying people, but hey, what are you gonna do about it.
- "Talents": Note the use of double quotation marks. I can sing, but I am no nightingale(cuckoo, yes). I can carry a tune, I can sing along when music is being played and I can probably do better than most people in karaoke bars. But don't expect my notes to shatter glass(for either reason). High notes make me go squeaky and low notes make me sound like Amitabh Bachhan(not a good thing).
I can dance, but I am no happy(gay?) feet. I have taken part in most of the dance performances held in school and few during college but I am sure no one in the audience has ever pointed at me and remarked how exceptional my talent is(or asked for my autograph, for that matter). Maybe if I were to have continued my bharatnatyam classes, things would have been different. But don't blame me, blame my young teacher who went to pursue her higher studies in Goa.
- Employment: All the talk till now was more to do with my past. Now this, my dear readers, is about my present. I am currently employed by a company that took 128 other from my batch in engineering, from my college alone. The company that recruited and trained at least one thousand others during the same period as me, and this is just the statistics for one particular training location. The company that has at least >insert really high figure here< others with the same designation as me - software engineer. The company where I am not an identity, but a number.
Average Jane? Yes Sir, that's me!
PS: My self esteem and ego are arch enemies, they are constantly in battle.
- Looks: Let's start with the most basic, shallow means used to judge another person. What? Don't give me the holier than thou "I don't judge people and neither should you" look! All of us are judgmental, you know it. I come in the not so attractive that men swoon when I pass by and yet not so ugly that kids start wailing in my presence by the mere sight of me category. Not gorgeous yet not hideous. Let's see, so what would that make me? Oh yes, average!
- Academics: It may be too late to talk about academics now but bear with me, I am trying to make a point. Agreed that as a kid I used to do well in studies, but that doesn't count right? I mean how difficult is it to score well in the lower grades? I feel bad for those parents, students who don't! Don't give me the Ishan Awasthi syndrome as an excuse, dyslexia isn't an epidemic. So barring that initial spark of excellence, I have remained an average student throughout my academic life. Never too brilliant, never too dumb to fail.
- Athletics: Been there, done that, that's about it. I enthusiastically took part in each and every sport offered by my school, from plain old sprinting to kho kho to softball(baseball bat, soft ball, the works). There was a time when I was one of the fastest in running but that again was thanks to luck and timing - I was one of the tallest girls in my age category. Hard to believe but true. More of that later. So in sports and/or athletics - average.
- Height and weight: I may have ranted about being short and how the cruel world does not understand or sympathise with my woes or me before, but if truth be told, I am of the average Indian female height. No, honestly. Females, ok this term seems derogatory to a few, so let me use women, who are a couple or more inches taller than me are referred to as being tall and those on the lower side of the scale as short(duhh). That leaves me as, you guessed it, average!
Coming to an issue most women are sensitive about, my weight. No, I am not revealing how much it is. Just that if and when you or anyone else for that matter looks at me for the first time and later is asked for an opinion regarding my build, the common response is "medium". Not "big", not "fat", not "skinny", not "thin" and most definitely not as a part of sign language using both hands, but "normal". It maybe a politically incorrect way of classifying people, but hey, what are you gonna do about it.
- "Talents": Note the use of double quotation marks. I can sing, but I am no nightingale(cuckoo, yes). I can carry a tune, I can sing along when music is being played and I can probably do better than most people in karaoke bars. But don't expect my notes to shatter glass(for either reason). High notes make me go squeaky and low notes make me sound like Amitabh Bachhan(not a good thing).
I can dance, but I am no happy(gay?) feet. I have taken part in most of the dance performances held in school and few during college but I am sure no one in the audience has ever pointed at me and remarked how exceptional my talent is(or asked for my autograph, for that matter). Maybe if I were to have continued my bharatnatyam classes, things would have been different. But don't blame me, blame my young teacher who went to pursue her higher studies in Goa.
- Employment: All the talk till now was more to do with my past. Now this, my dear readers, is about my present. I am currently employed by a company that took 128 other from my batch in engineering, from my college alone. The company that recruited and trained at least one thousand others during the same period as me, and this is just the statistics for one particular training location. The company that has at least >insert really high figure here< others with the same designation as me - software engineer. The company where I am not an identity, but a number.
Average Jane? Yes Sir, that's me!
PS: My self esteem and ego are arch enemies, they are constantly in battle.
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