Letting go..

More than a year since I started working, and the changes are quite apparent. It is one thing to be a student and another to be financially independent - a working woman. Although I must admit that staying at home, with your parents, superficially, both seem to be the same. Especially if you aren't a guy. The same deadlines (ok maybe a little extended now), the same barrage of questions - who, when, why, the same ensuing arguments and the same restrictions.

But dig deeper and you can see the differences. The questions, now, need not be answered. Well I don't mean to be rude, but there are times when you get fed up. Moreover it can frustrate anyone to return from work, traveling through irritatingly slow traffic, back home, to a quizmaster. As if controlling your rage in office wasn't bad enough. Call it escapism or running away or whatever you like, but the plain truth is it is easier to avoid conflicts if you just stay silent. I have learned this from experience and many a times it takes great will on my part to not explode. Though at the end of the day it really is worth it.

Family is the easiest and softest target you can find to relieve your frustrations. Friends can just end it and move away, colleagues can actually end up putting you in a lot of trouble and unless you are psychotic, acquaintances obviously do not figure on the list. But family, now they can't run anywhere. They have been tolerating you (and vice versa) for years now. Sometimes I wonder whether it is actually love or just adjustment. You get so used to these people in your life that any other way of life just doesn't seem plausible.

Yet it isn't right or fair that they have to bear the brunt of your boss being an incompetent jack ass, you slogging your ass off and not being even a little appreciated or some trouble or mess in your personal life. It just isn't fair. Oh well, 'life is fairly unfair' or something on these lines seem to play on my mind right now. But quotes are good only to quote, not when applied to reality. So the simple solution to it - grin and bear it. The monosyllables that you mouth makes for terrible conversation but at least it saves you the misery of spoiling your mood further.

Their point of view is quite understandable actually. They know that it is just a matter of time before the "bird leaves the nest" (what a crappy metaphor). Till then, they try to make the most of it, trying to be as involved as can be, not realising they are intruding upon your personal space and privacy. Growing up isn't about being an adult, aging more than 18. It is when you don't need them anymore, at least materialistically , sometimes even emotionally. That is what scares them the most. They are trying so hard to hold on to what is left of what used to be their life, little do they realise the frictions that are occurring as a cause of it.

It's easy to let go, holding on is the tough part.