I would be so freaking rich if I had a nickel everytime:
1. Someone did a quick hand maneuver on spotting a temple/church/any other place of worship while passing it by.
2. Someone said sorry and did the quick hand-to-forehead maneuver on mistakenly hitting me/ kicking me/ their foot coming in contact with any single cell of my body.
3. Someone said the F word. For the record, I don't.
4. Someone asked me "How are you?", said "Sorry" and "Thank You" and not mean it. Not in the same order, Einstein!
5. Someone gave me a fake smile. OK, sometimes even I am guilty of it.
6. Someone expressed surprise at me being a twin. Yeah, it's a little different, but really? That fascinating eh?
7. Someone joked about one twin feeling the pain when the other is hurt. Yup, so original. Har Har.
8. Someone asked me "what platform do you work on?". Seriously, you have no idea how irritating it is to answer that question. Unless you want to recruit me, do you really care?
9. Someone asked me if I know so and so person in my company. Dear Uncle/Aunty, there are at least 90,000 other employees! Providing their nickname, height, colour and weight does not help in any way either!
10. Someone commented on my smile. Don't get me wrong, I love all the attention. You can keep talking about it. No complaints. I am just making a list to get rich, you know. Don't mind.
11. Some ignorant half-desi-who-thinks-he-knows-my-country makes some random, derogatory comment which is lapped up by the media. Dude(yeah, I said "dude"), if you don't live here and do nothing to improve the situation, you don't get to talk. Comprehende?
12. Someone(Indian resident) sent me the Obama vs Bush pics. I am waiting for the honeymoon period to get over. We'll see how much you like this man after that.
13. Someone gave me gyan on the reasons of the collapse of Lehmann Brothers and the current economic crisis. I have access to Wikipedia too, you know.
14. I meet a hypocrite. If you are so concerned about child labour, pay for your maid's child's education, don't preach. We have Miss India's for that.
15. A Hollywood star flaunts their United Colours of Benetton adopted child. Get your house in order first, you rehab regular, now married, now divorced, now happy, now gay freak.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
I think i tweeted on the similar lines of no.7 :S
ReplyDeletewell.. I've been getting mails and videos on this no.12. and i just delete it.
Isn't No.3 very very common? :S
@7 yeah? haven't seen it :)
ReplyDelete@3 that's how it ll make me rich!! :D
@3: Seriously, neva?! :-o
ReplyDelete@8: hehe, and more so, after office, it's really tough to go to Bangalore station and..err..ohh..ok..ok..that platform...my bad! :|
@13: Little too cynical! :) Every freakin thing is written down in Wiki! So, what do we talk abt? What Fundas do we give? :)
@15: Last one->the best one! :)
I guess we are 100K which makes it much more difficult :)
ReplyDelete#6- You are a twin? It IS fascinating, come on. Perhaps it's the case of 'ghar ki murgi' for you, but trust me, it can be very fascinating to many people, esp if you're an identical twin.(Are you? :D )
ReplyDelete#10- sarcastic or plain braggart, which one art thou? ;)
#9- oh I perfectly understand. I've been asked so many times to 'find out about' a particular person that it's insane. Now I've finally figured out a way of giving it back to them. I would give them info, yes, but all made up one. And if later they complained about how wrong I was, I would tell them that there were so many people by the same name working in my company that I must've gotten the wrong one. That'll teach them to ask me questions! Muahahahah >:-)
You could improvise.
Would u really be ready to work on a 'platform' if the other person is ready to hire you ?? :P
ReplyDelete@TGO @3-its not like I go *gasp* when someone utters it, but its not part of my vocabulary either :)
ReplyDelete@Thejesh u betcha! :)
@beatnik no, not identical..(thank god for small mercies :P)..@10 hehe..its a secret :P
@Ravi :-| actually, the pay might be better..so why not? :P
Someone asked me "what platform do you work on?". Seriously, you have no idea how irritating it is to answer that question.
ReplyDeleteVery true. Very effing true. See you earned a nickel.
Someone said the F word. For the record, I don't.
I heard the OSHO guy or whoever he was say eff word is the most charming and beatiful word. I second him.
A Hollywood star flaunts their United Colours of Benetton adopted child. Get your house in order first, you rehab regular, now married, now divorced, now happy, now gay freak.
Seriously, what's it with people and their disapproval of anything that's gay? I know everyone is entitled to their opinion and that they look at all this "being gay" thing legally. But, seriouslly, why should it effect someone. Just curiuos. :)
@Virus I m not homophobic, if that's what u are hinting at :) it's funny that only the "gay" part is noticed, not my narrow minded opinion about divorce or addiction..anyway, the point is, if you aren't even sure about your sexual orientation, you are definitely not in the correct state of mind to adopt and raise a child..
ReplyDeleteSighhhhh!
ReplyDelete(I thought I do a lot of grumbling than others )
'Someone gave me gyan on the reasons of the collapse of Lehmann Brothers and the current economic crisis. I have access to Wikipedia too, you know.'
ReplyDeleteVinay Paratala...are you listening?? :P
*Uh-hum* .. takes Mic .. 1-2 check ..
ReplyDeleteLet me give you some 1st-hand Gyaan on the demise of Lehmans. They were a client to the company I work for. i had a friend who worked there in Canary Wharf.
One of my other friends who works in Barclays sent me a mail saying .. 'Anyone heard from Saqib?, Lehmans are F**d' (his words, not mine).. so I gave this guy at Lehmans a call ..
Saaqib Miyaan, what's the crack? What's going down? We're hearing crazy stories .. He replied. yep it's all true. We came in today & we were told: Thanks for your services, you can go now.
Hmm, I see .. So what are you still doing there? I ask. Well, I ordered some PC parts that are supposed to be delivered to the office, so I'll just wait around looking out of the window. Hmm.
& what do you see? Crowds of recruitment agents handing out their cards & collecting CV's while a number of staff are taking whole PC's & monitors with them. The spec of these PC's are better than the crap I've ordered as well. Hmm.
Soon after this the call was terminated.
You'll be glad to know he has a job at another investment bank now. I never did ask if the PC parts arrived or not.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Shetty... btw, the gyaan was given only when the discussion turned into it... and i'm not the one to go around giving gyaan... like i always say, most of the time i just have theories... and anyways, they're contradicted most of the time :D so makes up for an interesting coffee/lunch convos..., considering the amount of time that we spend there, there needs to be someone like me churning out nonsense.. else it'd get really boring :)
ReplyDelete@Anonymous Object: That was interesting! Hmmm...
ReplyDeleteNothing on the post...but the comment from Anonymous Object was mighty good and interesting
ReplyDelete6. Someone expressed surprise at me being a twin. Yeah, it's a little different, but really? That fascinating eh?
ReplyDeleteThat was a surprise!
I'd forgotten about this comment I posted, wow, I'd even had a response .. lol
ReplyDeleteThank you ji.