Saturday, December 8, 2007

Moody - Definitely Female

Ever tried to tap into that little, mean, sadistic part of you? Don't know what I am talking about? Oh you know, that little voice inside of you which asks you to push the person who cuts into your line or tell the pest who clings to you to go get a life. Yeah, that one. Don't deny the fact that it doesn't exist. All of us have it. Most of us ignore it or have conditioned ourselves to turn a deaf ear to it. What if one day you listen to it?

Don't freak out(as yet), I am not planning to turn into a psychopath. I am halfway there, but that's not the point. If your whole life you listened to the voice of reason, that voice which tells you what is right and what is wrong and then one day you realise, that voice doesn't belong to you. That voice has been forced into your head by society, by your parents, by your teachers, by your peers, by everyone but you. What do you do?

Coming back to the little streak of evil that I talked of before, listen to it, just once. The rush that comes with it is unparalleled. It is like breaking free of some chains which have left marks on your skin. The slight tingling sensation at its absence, the raw skin breathing for the first time in ages and the pain which doesn't let you forget of its existence. It will be back, oh yes, that you can be assured of, but till that time, enjoy the freedom.

It's been a rough week. Well that is what happens if you(I) decide to be over smart and decide to take a full week's leave instead of just three days, as is genuinely required. So you get nine days of blissful, stress free (as if!) and sleep filled days. But ever given a thought to the days that are to follow? Huh..I thought not! The Monday Blues seem Bluer than usual and the week seems to drag longer than Himesh's nasal crones. The shift back to waking up early on days that seem be out of a painting - foggy, chilly and (a feeling you can relate to) cold, is the most cruel part of it.

Add to it the amount of work at office which makes you wonder if they were just waiting for you to return and dump it on you, plus a few confusions in life in general and Voila! you have the perfect not-so-perfect week! Is it a surprise then that you snap at anyone who commits the grave error of ticking you off? I guess not. No, I am not trying to justify anything, because honestly, I don't do that. If there is one (of the millions) quality that I lack, it is spontaneity. The thought that goes into any action of mine makes it look like I plan to kidnap Mick Jagger (which reminds me, I must watch that show, I am told that it is quite funny)! So regretting what I said or did is totally out of the question. I just pity the people who cross my path on such occasions.

Few things that I learned over these last few days:
  • Confrontation works a great deal in sorting out any kind of misunderstanding.
  • Silence is not always golden.
  • Truth hurts as bad as being kicked in the wrong place, but it works!
  • The masks come off when under attack and the real face is quite ugly.
These may not make sense to you, but hey..did my words ever?


  1. Wow... Such an honest and appealing post! :) Enjoyed reading it... I agree to each word written!

  2. :-O
    See..I told u..come won't listen! :P and u missed the blogger's meet too, for no reason! :D

    Newaz, good, you have learned from ur mistakes, and i do hope u won't repeat it again! :D

    Moral: Take leave when you really need it! :P

    * don't look after me *