Average Jane

This was a thought planted in my mind by a friend, in one of our numerous lunch discussions, about nothing. He claims that he is the most average guy you can find. Well there's news for you my friend, I make the "A" in average seem extraordinary! Here's why

- Looks: Let's start with the most basic, shallow means used to judge another person. What? Don't give me the holier than thou "I don't judge people and neither should you" look! All of us are judgmental, you know it. I come in the not so attractive that men swoon when I pass by and yet not so ugly that kids start wailing in my presence by the mere sight of me category. Not gorgeous yet not hideous. Let's see, so what would that make me? Oh yes, average!

- Academics: It may be too late to talk about academics now but bear with me, I am trying to make a point. Agreed that as a kid I used to do well in studies, but that doesn't count right? I mean how difficult is it to score well in the lower grades? I feel bad for those parents, students who don't! Don't give me the Ishan Awasthi syndrome as an excuse, dyslexia isn't an epidemic. So barring that initial spark of excellence, I have remained an average student throughout my academic life. Never too brilliant, never too dumb to fail.

- Athletics: Been there, done that, that's about it. I enthusiastically took part in each and every sport offered by my school, from plain old sprinting to kho kho to softball(baseball bat, soft ball, the works). There was a time when I was one of the fastest in running but that again was thanks to luck and timing - I was one of the tallest girls in my age category. Hard to believe but true. More of that later. So in sports and/or athletics - average.

- Height and weight: I may have ranted about being short and how the cruel world does not understand or sympathise with my woes or me before, but if truth be told, I am of the average Indian female height. No, honestly. Females, ok this term seems derogatory to a few, so let me use women, who are a couple or more inches taller than me are referred to as being tall and those on the lower side of the scale as short(duhh). That leaves me as, you guessed it, average!

Coming to an issue most women are sensitive about, my weight. No, I am not revealing how much it is. Just that if and when you or anyone else for that matter looks at me for the first time and later is asked for an opinion regarding my build, the common response is "medium". Not "big", not "fat", not "skinny", not "thin" and most definitely not as a part of sign language using both hands, but "normal". It maybe a politically incorrect way of classifying people, but hey, what are you gonna do about it.

- "Talents": Note the use of double quotation marks. I can sing, but I am no nightingale(cuckoo, yes). I can carry a tune, I can sing along when music is being played and I can probably do better than most people in karaoke bars. But don't expect my notes to shatter glass(for either reason). High notes make me go squeaky and low notes make me sound like Amitabh Bachhan(not a good thing).

I can dance, but I am no happy(gay?) feet. I have taken part in most of the dance performances held in school and few during college but I am sure no one in the audience has ever pointed at me and remarked how exceptional my talent is(or asked for my autograph, for that matter). Maybe if I were to have continued my bharatnatyam classes, things would have been different. But don't blame me, blame my young teacher who went to pursue her higher studies in Goa.

- Employment: All the talk till now was more to do with my past. Now this, my dear readers, is about my present. I am currently employed by a company that took 128 other from my batch in engineering, from my college alone. The company that recruited and trained at least one thousand others during the same period as me, and this is just the statistics for one particular training location. The company that has at least >insert really high figure here< others with the same designation as me - software engineer. The company where I am not an identity, but a number.

Average Jane? Yes Sir, that's me!

PS: My self esteem and ego are arch enemies, they are constantly in battle.